The Difference Between Thinking and Experiencing

Are You Living the Moment—or Narrating It?

You can watch a sunset and think about how beautiful it is.

Or you can simply watch the colors change.

You can sit across from someone you love while thinking about what you'll say next.

Or you can become completely absorbed in what they're saying.

You can walk along the ocean while planning tomorrow, replaying yesterday, or wondering whether you should take a picture.

Or, for a few moments, you can hear the waves, feel the breeze, and notice the sand beneath your feet.

In each case, you're physically in the same place.

But you're not necessarily having the same experience.

Our minds are extraordinary storytellers. They interpret, compare, remember, predict, evaluate, and make meaning from nearly everything that happens.

But sometimes we're so busy thinking about life that we don't realize we've stepped slightly outside of the experience itself.

The Narrator in the Background

There is often a quiet commentary running alongside our lives.

This is beautiful.

I should take a picture.

I hope this lasts.

I wonder what they're thinking.

This reminds me of...

What am I doing after this?

None of these thoughts are inherently problematic.

Thinking is how we understand much of our world.

But there is a subtle difference between having thoughts during an experience and allowing those thoughts to become the experience.

Sometimes the narrator becomes so loud that we barely notice what's happening underneath it.

Thinking About Something Isn't the Same as Feeling It

Imagine holding a warm cup of coffee on a cool morning.

You can identify the coffee.

Think about whether you like it.

Decide whether it needs more cream.

Remember another cup you had somewhere else.

Think about what you need to do when you finish it.

Or you can notice its warmth against your hands.

The aroma.

The first sip.

The quiet of the morning.

One experience happens largely through thought.

The other happens through sensation.

Both are part of life.

But they aren't quite the same.

When We Start Watching Ourselves Live

Modern life has added another interesting layer to this.

We don't only experience things anymore.

We often document them while they're happening.

A beautiful meal arrives and we photograph it before tasting it.

A spectacular sunset appears and we immediately reach for our phones.

We're halfway through an experience and already thinking about how we'll describe it, share it, save it, or remember it.

There is nothing wrong with capturing a beautiful moment.

Photographs become memories. Stories connect us. Sharing can extend the joy of an experience.

But occasionally it's worth asking:

Have I actually experienced this yet?

Maybe take the photograph.

And then put the phone away.

Look again.

Anticipation Can Steal the Middle

Sometimes we're physically present but mentally living several minutes—or several months—ahead.

During dinner, we're thinking about dessert.

During Friday, we're waiting for the weekend.

During the vacation, we're planning tomorrow's excursion.

During one stage of life, we're anticipating the next.

Anticipation can be wonderful.

It gives us something to look forward to.

But if we're always leaning toward what comes next, the present can quietly become little more than a hallway we're walking through on the way to somewhere else.

And sometimes the hallway was part of the experience, too.

Analysis Has Its Place

There are moments that deserve thought.

A difficult decision should be considered.

An important conversation may need reflection.

Experiences can teach us something when we take time to understand them.

The goal isn't to stop thinking.

It's to recognize when thinking is useful—and when it may be keeping us one step removed from what's actually happening.

Not every moment needs to be interpreted while we're living it.

Some moments can simply be experienced first.

Meaning can come later.

What Experience Feels Like

Experiencing often brings us back to something remarkably simple:

What can I see?

What can I hear?

What can I feel?

What is happening right now—not in the story I'm creating about it, but in the actual moment?

The warmth of sunlight through a window.

Someone laughing across the table.

Cold water around your ankles.

Music you love playing unexpectedly.

The smell of dinner cooking.

Your dog asleep beside you.

Nothing needs to be analyzed for these moments to matter.

Sometimes experiencing them is enough.

Let the Moment Arrive Before You Explain It

The next time something catches your attention, experiment with leaving a little space before describing it.

Before deciding what it means.

Before comparing it with something else.

Before reaching for your phone.

Before turning it into a story.

Stay with the experience for another few seconds.

See it.

Hear it.

Feel it.

Then think about it if you want to.

You don't have to silence the narrator.

You can simply let life speak first.

Living Before Narrating

Thinking helps us understand our lives.

Experiencing allows us to actually inhabit them.

We need both.

But perhaps the order matters more than we realize.

There will always be time to remember the sunset.

Describe the dinner.

Think about the conversation.

Look at the photograph.

Tell the story.

But the experience itself only happens once.

While you're standing inside it.

Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can do is allow a moment to become a memory after we've allowed it to become an experience.

Truly,
Tamara